PoP 143 | The Brain with Amy Fortney Parks

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Today we’re talking all about the brain with Amy Fortney Park!

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Meet Amy Fortney Parks

Amy ParksAmy Fortney Parks describes herself as a life­long educator, a passionate psychologist and often stressed­out, but mostly happy, mom of four! She is the Executive Director of WISE Mind Solutions, LLC, a Northern Virginia­based practice focused on children, teens and families. She is also the owner of The Wise Family – a comprehensive brand for kids and parents designed to inspire, educate and energize families!

Amy Fortney Parks brings with her over 25 years of education and experience working with children, adolescents and families as both an educator and psychologist. Her focuses include individual counseling for kids, tweens and teens, parent and educational consulting. She is a passionate “BRAIN – trainer” and strives to help everyone she works with understand how their own unique brain works!

Amy holds a Masters Degree in Psychological Services and is in the dissertation phase of her Doctorate in Educational Psychology. More information and how to chat directly with her about your family are on her website, www.thewisefamily.com or connect SOCIALLY @wisefamilies

Meet Joe Sanok

consultant headshot JoeJoe Sanok, MA, LLP, LPC, NCC is one of the world’s leading private practice consultants. He is the owner of the Traverse City counseling practice, Mental Wellness Counseling. Joe helps counselors to start private practices and grow them.



Podcast Transcription

Pop 143 | The Brain With Amy Fortney Parks

[0:00] Music.

[0:08] This is the practice of the practice podcast with joe sanok session number one forty three.

[0:13] Music.

[0:28] Welcome welcome welcome i’m so glad you are here i’m joe santa actor host and you let me in two years into your brain yet again thank you.

[0:38] Let me and i’ll be doing awesome downtown traverse city is beautiful right now.
Our weather is in full bloom for the summer and did a lot of swimming over the weekend in santa paddle boarding and,
it’s interesting how sometimes you guys your teaching people you also get hot and the midst of doing blog sprint right now which is where a bunch of people almost thirty people.
Are all working together to write ten blog posts in two weeks and i’m just so inspired by that both people and,
kelly had talked most awesome conference taking me through can your ideal schedule and a number of days in the last couple weeks i’ve had my ideal schedule where i got a little bit later hangout with my family,
when works and did some counseling and some consulting and block spring was home by like three or four.
And it’s amazing the difference when you start to move towards just creating a schedule that you want rather than the schedule that you think that you need to have.
And it’s super awesome it’s just super awesome so i hope your week is going well and that you are looking at and how you’re using your time.
And yes this week our sponsor is flow and flow is an app and suffer co host elevate the mental health community by strengthening the connections you have with your colleagues.
Build a professional network full of the people you know and trust,
see up today details of the practice and crab availability so that you can refer to them easier to discover new people you’d like,
get to know and hear the latest news and topics that you care about most and discuss with colleagues in a private secure social network.

[2:14] It’s so awesome.
You had overflowtherapists.com/joe now she get a month for free rather than the normal seven days and it’s a great great app that i think you you guys are gonna love so head on over there,
and would love to hear your thoughts on it and yeah i’m just also really excited about today’s guest.
Me courtney parks she’s just incredible i’d known her for probably about a year now and she has scabs are self as a lifelong educator.
A passionate psychologist and often stressed out but mostly happy mama for.
She is the executive director of wise mind solutions in northern virginia based practice focused on children teens and families she’s also the owner of the wise family a comprehensive bring them for kids and families design to inspire.
Educate and energize families he brings over twenty five years of education experience working with children adolescents and families as a,
educator and psychologist one love most about can which is doing is their focus includes matches individual counseling for kids tweens and teens but she’s also passionate brain trainer.
This is going to talk with us today all about the brain and her use of brain technology in groups and it’s different groups she works with.
It’s just it’s really awesome so without any further ado i give you the one the only amy.

[3:45] Amy forty parts welcome to the practice of the practice podcast banks joe i’m super furry and i’m really excited to be here i’m so glad that you’re here with us today you’re so many interesting stories about.
Your life about becoming a counselor license your brain science i just really excited to dive into all these different things.
Thanks thanks i think we all come from these really interesting places to come to where we are so it’s gonna be really fun to talk about yeah yeah so you,
you from yourself as a lifelong educator let’s start there tell me a little bit about your past in the how you can get into counseling.
Well my starting college thinking i was going to be a doctor and i failed chemistry like big fat ass so that was not gonna happen for me and so i started thinking well i really like to talk.
And i started to get more and more interested in education so i when i graduated from college i graduated with a degree that will,
degree in english and psychology and also teaching licensure and so i started in the teaching field in education and i taught sixth grade for a couple of years,
and i want to a private elementary school or in a private high school.
Where do you wanna counselors or anything like that and i didn’t even know that schools have counselors but one day i was talking to a friend of mine in icu now.

[5:12] Way more interested in whether or not you know these kids parents are getting divorced or,
if they’re having depression or anxiety or stress were interested in that,
teach him about shakespeare and all these other interesting but i’m doing so i really this is just it is not doing it for me and my girl friends it will let you become a school counselor and i like will.
I didn’t even know that was a job i had no idea that was even a job,
so i went back to school and got a masters degree at that time i was lucky enough to be able to get a,
it will master degree in school psychology and school counseling so which is kind of unheard of nowadays so i went on.
School and.
As a school counselor is will psychologist and because i had that sort of combination of degrees and the combination of training i really became fascinated by the whole construct of.
Learning and how,
our brains impact our ability to learn and how if we pay attention to how our brains work,
and if we know how are old dreams work how much more powerful are learning can be so i just kinda i became pretty fascinated with that and then started for,
following lot of folks that do brain types of science and brain working and then start speaking in the field of brain science and,
now as a dependent on their best buy it will a lot of brain science into what i do with.

[6:47] With kids and teens and families was so interesting is usually it seems like people,
you know when they work with tweens and teens they are trying to get away from the teen and tween drama but for you it was that’s the interesting part i wanna move from education to more counseling and all the mess that might be going on in their lives,
yeah absolutely and you know what you teach and really counseling is about sales.
You know i’m it’s really especially when you’re working with teens and tweens and do you have that you have to be about sales so yeah and you’re trying to sell a concept or you’re trying to sell a position are you trying to sell a strategy and so.
Starting education allowed me to really kinda good at that and then as i started to work more and more morning therapy i could sell kids more on the idea of hey let’s get to know your brain a little bit.
So you can figure out how to maximize,
what you now i love the say that be it’s in elevate you say because i said something similar when i was speaking at the michigan school social worker conference,
where was all about how you’re always marketing and i this room full of social workers that worked in the schools,
i ask them how many do you think that your marketers and like one person raise their hand and why do you think you’re marketer,
and the person i used to be in marketing and now i’m a school social worker and i’m always selling ideas to them and like that was the premise of my whole talk and,
by the end you know just the basics of social media marketing and how they interact with selling and i.

[8:17] We can with the process and so hearing you say that it’s amazing how these ideas like a co to different people in different places but it’s such as like common idea,
yeah i totally i totally feel that way and in fact i think when you think about your work.
As sales it’s a whole lot easier to get excited about,
i suggested it seems to be for me something i can get a whole lot more excited about because i believe in it so much i think you can sell anything you don’t believe in and,
people that are in this business in education or a counseling are in it really for the big box but they’re in it because they really believe in the power of this kind of work and so.
It’s easy to sell something you believe in it so that it is a go for,
it sure as i know that i sold vacuum cleaners door-to-door in college and i did not believe in the products one bit so i know he sold two and a half,
there you go he legally had a half a vacuum,
i don’t know if there doing it alone that i recruited a friend to go with me and so we sold the vacuum and i had to split the profit,
i think so think is driving around the county all by myself selling vacuum cleaners and we just ride with me you don’t even have to know what you’re doing like,
so it’s painful and work to if you really if you if you’re having a bad day is a therapist for you for you or your,
really feeling you know clip-on by a family can make selling hard so you know that’s the same kinda situation of and our work to.

[9:49] I’m really interested in the idea of selling brain science to tweens and teens like what were some of the techniques you did there how did you make that interesting to them all,
well i do it everyday so i’m def not talking about in the pasture but yeah i still one thing site i always start with is.
Just noticing some of the things and bring to awareness some of the things i see when talking to sis specifically acting tweens and teens alike twelve and up although.
Younger kids often mention to the parents especially with kids around,
third grade like eight nine ten that that’s a super tsunami of the right brain and so when you see lots of motion albino tantrum in around that age they’re like i thought we password past this already and i,
help him understand what’s happening in the brain so they can.
Sort of more lies in a little bit but we to enter new releases on a positive how do you describe that to them so there’s many of us are listening right now but maybe don’t know how to describe what’s happening during that age.
And how would you describe the brain in that heat to ten h.
Well so you know one of the things that we think about that’s not true is that our brains just are kind of growing all over the place all the time and it and it really it’s just like.
The body and not everything frozen hierarchical way so the brain develops in different parts of the brain few other parts of the brain to develop so it.

[11:23] You certainly lots of things are happening at one time but certain parts of the brain have to queue others to begin developing after they’ve reached maturity so and,
oftentimes to you’ll see for example younger child seeking during the first grade he’s learning to read,
who won’t grow physically for a period of time and karen to get little bit worried and i explain to them you know if the brain is doing a lot of work can’t focus on growing the body so that you’ll have,
look up here in a time of nobody gross or you’ll see a super,
surge of pottery and kids won’t move up a level in reading or math or something and people be panicked about that and i talk about you know we.
Developing this hierarchical way so i’m when i explained that the parents they say they are different times in the,
and development where different parts of the brain are developing a different,
rates and at different times and around that he or not and there are several books about this they are very very helpful your child’s brain is a really good one and.
I am trying to have my glasses on to see across my office it’s more titles but i can absolutely.
And happily shared with you and we’ll put those in the show notes of yeah absolutely so there’s a couple really good ones but i say you know around that age the left brain has done a lot of its work in terms of building some,
early reasoning skills and sell the right rain start to do some of its working building some emotional resilience in summary at some of motion of stability and the activity and.

[12:54] Understanding emotional language and things like that and so i try to explain that when you see this big amount of.
Left of right rate rose it’s that i call the tsunami of the right brain because it’s really flooding the brain with right brain activity super creative super emotional all and,
the left brain is actually the part which act.
Ask lots of questions super why how does this work putting things together taking things apart but you see a lot in the younger seem like five and six pages.
Because there’s no exclusivity hear my new cd stains all throughout but sometimes it’s more pronounced than others so i just kind of went out and regardless of the age of the person i’m talking to i just try to bring it to their awareness,
as a way of saying yo this is the one working that we treat in the body the only organ that we treat in the body that we can’t see.
Naturally we can start to see a lot more than we used to be able to through functional magnetic resonance residence imaging but.

[13:57] We haven’t been able to really see it for a long time but we treated so that just gives people pretty good.
Is there would imagine the for parents that are seeing tantrums are seeing more that right brain activity.
To realize this is something that their brain matter.
Is headed down on the autism spectrum are there and oppositional defiant disorder that’s right quick to label but to say this is a normal phase for a normal child to go through right.
Right exactly and that does just because it’s a typical for days for a child to go through doesn’t mean.
We have to say it’s okay,
we have to handle and manage the behaviorist but we can’t understand a little bit more and i’m really believe very strongly that when you understand something more it’s easier to manage it might not make it.

[14:54] It might well i don’t know maybe the word is easier i guess.

[15:00] Maybe there’s more and see yeah singer stand what’s happening yeah its there’s more empathy around the understand it and understanding and so then it.
Kind of makes the makes the problem solving process a little less laborious and a little bit more focused on.
A solution we’re gonna figure something out and it’s gonna get better i just get a whole year for.
So for teens and parents of teens more how do you work with them in regards to selling them on the brain and putting them understand what’s happening with the brain,
will a lot of times those conversations start because i done some testing so i do somebody testing in my office on for learning disabilities and adhd and some executive function things and so some of those conversations start,
by having done some actual diagnostic psycho educational testing and so that i can start from there but if that’s not the case.
Then we do focus on things like.

[16:01] Set the changes that are happening in the brain for example one of the things there to.

[16:08] Very strong periods of growth for the brain that happen in life one is around three years old.
And what is around fourteen years old as its huge blossoming times of the brain and blossoming need what we create just thousands millions of new neurons and so.
When you have a fourteen year old and you have an eye and i show this little visual thing i have the xl pipe cleaners and it’s got all these.

[16:34] Dendrites that looks like this really complicated complex tree but when you got jealous blossoming you,
you it’s confusing it really icloud stopping clogs up your brain and so that fuzzy brain paying of trying to make decisions and trying to sort through things and trying to manage a life as a teenager.
They talk about something that’s really normal and all that’s actually really normal because we as adults we say things like.
Oh my gosh she’s so stressed out i can’t figure out why she’s so stressed out all she has to do is go to school and goes off on how hard is that what we normalize the experience of stress.
And teenagers havent and so we have to help them seeing a lot of this happening your brain right now it’s pretty busy and you’re creating a lot of,
no thanks no chemicals in your neurotransmitters are a high a high production and then also let’s not forget worms.

[17:33] Are super super high production so we got lots of stuff happening site really kinda share that and you see oftentimes a visible relaxation in families because of like okay.
I hear what you’re saying this isn’t the end of the world and this is just part of the process.
And i kinda just saying it’s okay it’s gonna be okay here’s where we’re gonna put some supports in place and hear where where’s where we’re gonna,
yeah sure at some of the things that are not feeling so good.

[18:04] Wow so i measure as you see parents understand that the can change their direction but what about.
Like something different topics of the brain that come up frequently from the teenagers ice in one min.
Sleep drug use those cat things that can affect the brain long-term how do you.
Sleep with kids in relation to the rain how he talked about drug use and those sorts of that,
well i can make it a joke i say something like you know do you is it hard for you to get to school everyday and of course the answer is always yes and,
the ice will but when you’re in school you know jack sleep try to listen or try to get,
any learning happy to happen like oh yes of course it now i try to work and i listen as we know what if you’re not sleeping and it shouldn’t bother.
You just shouldn’t bother and i just kinda making a joke until it wouldn’t be enough sleep is telling me not to go to school or not to learn as well.
Eighty percent of the coating that you do to remember the things you learn today at school happens while you sleep.
So if you’re not sleeping what’s the point yea is there not getting anything not saving our retainer and coating anything in we spend a lot of time.
Focusing on three in fact when people come in my office and their first complaint is anxiety.
Or depression know the first thing i talk about asleep and the first thing i wanna fix asleep.
Now there certain things that are happening in the brain certain or transmitter productions that are happening and reductions they’re happening in the brain like there’s a lot of.

[19:38] Girls can to make more serotonin employees doing their brains and so we see a lot of sleep issues with waste more than often and girls.
You’re so there’s a lot of disruption in those near a transmitter productions so that can really disrupt sleep and we talk a lot about why it’s important asleep and.
And how to make that happen and i usually show them there are some really good videos online about.
Bye bye couple dan siegel for example is a great you’re a scientist and he.
Talks about how watching screens even within an hour before sleep can completely disrupt your cycle of.
Sleep there turning production.
And so you show that i usually do some facts based starter information i just don’t say something like hey you gotta go to sleep cuz i never got for.
So i’ve ridden the context of here’s the facts in this is how your brain works and you can either fight it or you can you know work with is.

[20:39] Yeah that’s do there as far as drugs are concerned.

[20:44] You know a lot of times you see kids that are looking at and participating in the no smoking pie or.
Drug use or something like that as a way of self medicating so.

[20:58] It is really look underneath a lot of that and see what’s happening.
There can be lots of stuff union i both know there’s lots of stuff going on with a lot of those kinds of things but.

[21:10] Often times its self medicating because something else is really,
really in a way like anxiety is in the way in and i was like of will blanket over the breaking just really,
stop you from getting anything accomplished and then there are certain or chemicals also that are being made in the brain and as i said before that are in certain various levels of production.

[21:34] That we can get and feel really good.
From illegal substances you know like for example dope me we can get opening from math hey you know if i can go by that on the street why would not.

[21:50] That’s the logic sometimes so that’s pretty tricky yeah yeah what’s how to.
Like the first given to being this interested in the brain because i think we all recognize that the brain is important but to put in all the extra work what was it that.
It could change news i have to know more about the brain in particular.
I don’t remember if there was a specific moment i know when i started my career i was doing a lot of teasing out of dyslexia and different types of learning disabilities and so.
I guess the more i found out and figured out and the more i was able to bring that information into my practice.
I guess the more interested i became in it and then when i started to talk to people about it they became more interested which sort of ignited my.
It is yeah i’m for it even more so i speak a lot to groups about the brain and.
I write a lot of rain and people are always fascinated to be able to hear about the brain but not from.

[23:02] Like there’s a lot of greek words that describe the from part of the brain you know hit the campus and its and you know cerebellum and lots of different words that are complicated and i tried to make him really easy and i.
Is specifically have learned some strategies for a brain one on one like i say something like for example.
In fact my son i have a son who is in college and he’s taking a psychology class and he,
the psychology wanna one glasses scott brain anatomy and he’s trying to remember the different parts of the brain and i was able to really get him some easy ways to remember them so like for example hippocampus the hippocampus is responsible for memory,
and it’s kinda like the ups man of the brain to take stuff from one part of the brain and delivers it to another and you can remember it because see if you had hit on your campus you would totally remember that,
and do you like oh that’s great actually in i can totally get that and.

[23:59] So i tried really make it stop make it you know easy versus trying to be super complicated cuz.
Why it’s no fun if you can’t remember something are you can understand it because it’s so complicated right so.
Your practice focused and preteens teens families tweens how important you think it is for people on a business to focus and anti specialty versus being a general list.
I think that’s such a great question because i see so many so i can practice.
What been working this field for nearly twenty five years i’ve been in private practice for about ten.

[24:39] And it’s so interesting because i see so many people trying to just see as many people as they can from all different.
Different means but i really think it’s critical to focus on something for so i think it’s critical for your own.

[24:56] Your own sense of mastery because you cannot know everything about everything it’s just impossible and so i really value being expert in certain areas in teens and parents of teens.
I am using this brain science as part of that so i can get really critical but also you know people wanna go do you when i know you’re an expert,
if they know your just you can do a little bit of everything you have as much value and have secure your ideal client is because that you have like twelve are your clients,
so that makes your life really tricky in terms of figuring out how do i market in,
but i think people to come to this work without feeling like a white have to be all things to all people but really i don’t think that serves anybody,
you or your clients if you’re trying to be all things to all people a i totally agree i was just listening to grant baldwin’s,
bigger lab podcast and his yes speakers and i love the analogy he used he said if you going to a restaurant and,
you’re like ice menu and they said all we can make anything just tell us what you want to make what you want made you be really unique why are you kidding me and rather than.
You know i can make italian i can make mexican food i can make chinese food i can make america like,
you use a pattern to any of those very well where as if you go to a place that’s just you’re an amazing taco truck they’re probably gonna have pretty good tacos,
right exactly and imagine if you’re if you’re shaft and you can make all that stuff how big your tool box has to be.
I mean that’s just ridiculous and some of those tools in that toolbox you might only use say once a year because someone comes in and they want you know.

[26:37] Sushi.
Get out one time will you only use that for one time you certainly can’t be good at that if you just use it one time right if you use a tool several times a day every single day.
Then you become absolutely in master that and break science proves that to,
you know when we do something habit that you have it you try to break you do something over and over again it’s still super good keep doing it you don’t want to change that.

[27:06] So that’s not pick up any tool that you’ve never used the exact same kinda thing so in terms of practice i think it’s really critical.
Happy to be an expert in and at least you don’t want area if not maybe a couple.
So it sounds like for growing a business is really important account specialize what are other structural things that you found helpful in growing your private practice.

[27:32] Well my private practice started.
It was really interesting because getting licensed in my state i live in virginia and we have the most difficult licensure process in the whole country and.
And that’s it i guess that’s great and not maybe it’s very stringent other only two states in the whole country that require now to.
Education i want in virginia so that’s really interesting but.
It is not really in the way because the licensure board lost my paperwork and then i had to,
we file my paperwork and then they changed the law so i had to get grandfathered in because i got my master’s degree in like a million and one years ago in nineteen ninety four.
And it was so interesting cuz i said look you guys are punishing me because in nineteen ninety four i didn’t know i wanna go i wanted to go into private practice.
So a little aside i would say for your what listeners is if you’re in school right now keep every single syllabus from every single class you ever to write because twenty years from now your professors will be dead,
and you will not have access to that information that’s and my little my little word of wisdom there but i’m,
i think about cracked practice that’s been really helpful to me is to be really strong and have a strong expertise and a couple of areas,
but to be able to hit those areas and a variety of ways,
so for example i can work with somebody in the context of counseling i can work with them by doing sustenance i can work with them using a workbook or worksheet strategy.

[29:10] I’ll use the.
Use medication program in my office which is really remind everyone should totally be using use statues news dot or and.
I think that so i use that so different ways i tackle one thing so i don’t have to just have.
One size fits all way of approaching the problem so.

[29:36] I guess it’s a little contradictory to what i was saying where earlier regarding the toolbox but it’s not so much in that,
i have only a few tools i can use them in lots of creative ways yeah and they’re all centered around can one theme is this you can kinda,
adapts to the situation yes and there are lots of cool stuff so what you have to figure out what you’re really good at and it actually looks like so much easier,
you know when i see somebody i’m on no certain list servers and they say i’m looking for a therapist who can work with a veteran with pst and i think not.
Ninety no not yet that’s me and that’s really helpful because it’s exhausting if you have to answer all that all the time and be everything to everyone it just you can.
Yeah tell me your using your sessions.

[30:25] Well i just started because i need it to get good at it mice not good at i need to do it myself so i got myself for couple weeks and it’s super fun and i’m up to like,
forty five birds which is so far i know you forty five or people will let’s start with what is news just people can kind of visualize that they have never heard so you know,
i am a super fan of the practice of the practice so i listen to most your podcast which probably sounds look,
why is awesome guy i i got news because you mentioned it and i talk to the people at news at laying because i’m a super brainiac and i need to know what i was doing and,
and they were like oh my god you could use it with kids and i said yes i really want to.
So i got my headset and uses is of fabulous app and how i explain it if the kids and families is that.

[31:16] What you do is its kinda like zero feedback but it’s very non invasive and,
you put this headphone his headband thing on your head and through blue tooth to talk to your phone and you,
in an app you can basically control the weather and that’s pretty much what i explain your mind your mind with your break.
And it’s i just think it’s the coolest thing ever and i’m just starting to use with patients i just used it with a kid.
Who is nine the other day and he was just fascinated but freaked out.
So that’s okay i think that’s part of the whole learning her process go and tell them to start every session using use but i i wanna start integrating it more into the early parts of.
Of many sessions with my patients i have tried on teenagers yes just because i have it i just havent,
or i haven’t yet but i will probably mostly with teenagers and half the love it like its interesting i had one client that was a teen girl and she and her parents that many teen girls and boys were fighting over how much was on screens,
and they were like she’s can’t focus you can’t like do what she supposed to do,
and so i said to her what if we didn’t use just to show your parents like how calm you can be and how focused you can be.
And she got like fifty percent for first time for,
ten birds or something that will it have other clients that.
Yo are labeled as adhd or whatever and there suppose they all scattered and can’t calm down and they get seventy one percent yeah i’d one could get thirty birds yesterday and is very first time.

[32:54] It looks as never pays eight hundred for your listeners we should explain that the birds are you when you’re super calm and you’re,
and you’re able to really control the weather to make a comment peaceful you hear birds chirping and so want the birds as much as possible,
but the same time dojo don’t wanna react to the pretty here one if you react misses you up that’s what i do i hear one is so excited cuz are so there was other candidates,
freaking tropical jungle going on,
yeah gary is so react or if i hear like it get really calm that i’m already and then all of a sudden like the wind-up,
pick up a gallon yeah oh yeah,
no i’m supposed to be setting up different accounts for each kid or if i’m supposed to just be setting up lots of account under my account,
see i find it way easier to just use my one app rather than having unique accounts and i just read the progress notes can with their at.
That’s because i don’t have.
They’re not focusing on being a kappa comply and all of that i don’t want any even if they’re the i’m names that i don’t i just one on one yeah that would be easier i just didn’t realize i could do that to the other day without so much easier.

[34:02] Yeah it was really cool so most awesome conference ban from use was able to get every single person becomes a free news and so we’ve been sending those out to all the participants for most awesome conference.
Fantastic i’m so sorry that i’m not gonna be able to be there but makes my parents fiftieth wedding anniversary so i have to go to la jolla next.
Well over here from a lot of people so hopefully we keep in the high we do it again our goals to do it again but every year got evaluate so what i get if your parents fiftieth is pretty darn important yeah yeah i.
Yeah so i guess in regards to running a practice running a business any quick tips that may be three quick tips for people there in the earlier stages you got this dynamic amazing practice and you’re doing all the speaking in,
you have it down what would you suggest to people that are in that either start of a is a kind of starting to grow phase to just think about how to grow their business.

[35:01] Well i think the number one thing next that i think is most important is that if you are nervous about speaking in front of a group figure out how to get over that.
Because the number one way you’re going to promote yourself and your practice and that the profession in general and that and the gift of therapy is to be able to talk to groups,
so if you’re afraid of talking to groups join a toast masters,
you know reach out to me and i’ll try to give me some tips or your talk to people that you know that.
That can speak to groups because that’s gonna be a really important means of really sharing what you can do and what you now and.
And spreading the spray love i’m so that would be acting the number one thing i would say but a couple other things.

[35:48] That i think are important i definitely would say don’t stop learning.
Don’t stop going to conferences don’t stop reading don’t stop following up on articles that.

[36:03] You know that are in your net shh don’t stop because i know so many people who just don’t take advantage or they do the bare minimum that there see use for the year and they just that’s all they do and.
And they don’t really try to learn anything new so that i can get huge mistake.
So i think that’s a really important and i think the thirteen i would say that most important if you work with teens is you have to know about social media.
You have to know about stuff that’s happening with teens and if you don’t.
Than you need to get focus group together of teenagers are you need to get some parents and kids teenagers together.
You need to start figuring things out because i in a whole bunch of therapists last night at this and,
what is advanced and you’re talking about teenagers and a couple of them said oh lol i don’t have any they don’t even have teenagers and their home fine no big deal.
They like a lot not really on any social media and make what you’re making a big mistake because you do not know,
what’s happening in the world and not to be able to be affected.
Torn in fully agree with that is i am absolutely convinced that we’re losing the art of listening,
and salt i’ll give you readers like a little secret thing writing a book go outside of the title i know the title it’s living the life you want your kids to lead,
and it’s a bow really being a model,
four teenagers and it it’s for educators and question conditions in paris and that a big part of it is you know your teenagers are on social media there’s no way of getting around that see you have to know you have to know what they’re doing.

[37:46] Not understand it you can just say that’s cute i don’t understand it but that’s really cute know you have to know it.

[37:53] That’s awesome and where do you think that the books gonna be completed or is that just what cell probably a year from now so i’m just giving you away far heads up,
we just come back you’ll have to come back once i things done so that i can talk about it with remote it is not awesome while me if every counselor in the world were listening right now what would you want to know.

[38:15] Is every cancer in the world were missing right now i would want them to know that they should not do their work in isolation.
That’s you need to have a staffing group you need to have an online community.
We need to be part of the consultants for me to be working with other people who are in the field.

[38:38] So that you can get ideas you can share insights you can get support because we do a lot of really really hard work and.
Are not all the greatest at self-care and you must have other people.

[38:55] In your world to be supporting you and to be with you along this journey is just.
We just hit your you can’t do it alone you should not alone if you’re doing it alone because you can’t be doing well i love you will the consultant school and there,
things that will drive of made it back up the console school are consulting with joe so i can just give me cats will and just popping on facebook for,
you know five or six clinicians or your elementary school counselors or you know,
people that are working with teens and it just so powerful parents work to get you getting,
it’s an older parents that have teenagers you have to be perfect you have to make apologies for yourself you just go in there and say here’s me this is what i need.
And get what you need from people really important of it in your giving away your twelve habits of the wise family book to the listeners tell people how they can download that,
i am so they can download a book by going to my website at www.thewisefamily.com and if they sign up for my weekly wise words which is a great.
Weekly or a blast on usually about something about the brain are right now i’m doing a series on.
The four agreements eight for a middle schooler so the study of red for green and the book.

[40:19] So i’m doing a series right out of work green it’s a for a middle schoolers that’s really it’s really cool series but they can just sign up there and then i’ll get a e-book.
The twelve halves of wifes family automatically sent to them by now,
that’s awesome so head over to thewisefamily.com and you can learn more about me there me thank you so much for being on the practice of the practice podcast,
of course i’m thrilled you and i look forward to talking to you again when the book comes out sounds good talk to you soon right here.

[40:50] Music.

[41:08] And one thing amy said right at the end there that i just want to go back to chris just gonna breeze over her idea to for agreements for middle schoolers.
So frequently we think we have to start from total scratch in regards to creating content for people.
And i think a great example of using something that rd known in culture and then can a taking your own spin on it thinking about it.
And making sure that people really understand what you’re teaching but you can use it in a certain cultural context people are to get.

[41:40] So i’m so excited about flow for therapists head on over to practiceofthepractice.com/143 when you can get your free thirty days to test it out check it out and see what you think of and love to hear your feedback.
I just so that i can tell other people what you’re telling me thank you so much for letting me into yours into your brain and have an amazing week.

[42:03] Music.

[42:11] Special thanks advance ounces sexy and devin elizabeth we like music in this podcast is designed project converted information in order to the subject matter covered his game with the understanding between the posts.

[42:23] Music.